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All of this is me saying that there’s nothing wrong with being single.

…Despite the title of my second book, , being single is a fine state of affairs.

So if a guy is a people person, but works as a security guard by himself for eight hours a night, it should come as no surprise that he’s not all that happy. If love is truly more important than anything else in the world, maybe you should start living your life like it. You know, Evan, usually I agree with your posts so much. I read it with great interest, because I’m a 38-year-old woman in the same boat. I am SO SICK of these men who are fives (or lower) who all think they’re going to wind up with super models.

So ask yourself: are your goals and your actions aligned? I’m perfectly nice, average-looking, intelligent and intellectual, funny, creative, etc. There probably isn’t one guy that I wouldn’t have given a second chance, but out of many, many men only two of them ever gave me a second date.

Yes, it’s great when the universe provides a cute, attractive, successful, intuitive, funny, kind, emotionally available man at your doorstep.

They say they do, but they don’t really DO anything about pursuing love. This is the core metaphor driving my first book, and a guiding principle of my friend Rachel Greenwald’s book as well. Are you going to singles events – parties, trips, cruises – or at least doing activities that have single men in attendance? Have you signed up for a six-month subscription on a big dating site?

Which is why questions like and “Why He Isn’t That Into Me” are supremely relevant.

And since the age-old answers like “I’m picky,” “I just haven’t met the right guy,” and “Men suck” aren’t leading us to a desired conclusion, everything I write is designed to create a greater level of self-awareness in how we are complicit in our own fates.

People always ask me why I am still single, I get all the popular comments, like “Oh, that’s a shame, still single at your age”. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m athletic, been told I am attractive, outgoing, and I enjoy sports, and all sorts of out door activities, and have a great circle of friends, so why after all this time have I not met anyone? I’ve dated on and off for a few months to a year, only to have things crash and burn for one reason or another. I’ve tried the online dating, only to become seriously jaded by it all. I’m tired of friends telling me that when I least expect it, I will meet someone great, well, I have not been expecting it, and it never came. 🙁 Dear Lauren, I’m reminded of a story that Rich Gosse, the founder of American Singles, once shared with me.

I’m 42, and have never been married, and I guess that I have been dating idiots, or men who are not even dating material for the last 10 years.

When we’re unemployed, we do everything in our power to find work. Are you taking online dating as seriously as you could be? Have you been searching for and initiating contact with men? Have you considered hiring a matchmaker or a dating coach?

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