Insecure attachment is detrimental to romantic relationships.
However, surveillance through Social Networking Sites (SNSs) is assumed to be beneficial for romantic relationships in prior studies.
The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy.
Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know.
Does surveillance offer a compensatory effect for insecure couples?
Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.
She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together.
She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.
Although surveillance may not compensate for lower perceived relationship quality caused by one's own insecure attachment, it may help mitigate the effects of an avoidant partner.
Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.
His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time.