I get a lot of messages from people regarding the “language barrier” in my marriage.
Some people are simply curious; others are also dating or married to someone with a different native language and are wondering how Ryosuke and I were able to “work through our problems.” Believe me, Ryosuke and I have plenty of problems… They come from the fact that we are different people – something that every couple has to deal with (regardless of whether they were raised in different countries or in the same small-town neighborhood).
The announcement (in Japanese) said the doors on the left side were opening. When the train started slowing down, my friend started panicking.
Having a Successful Date Understanding Your Date’s Culture Learning Your Date’s Language Coping With a Language Barrier Community Q&A If you have ever tried to communicate with someone who did not know your language, then you know the complications and difficulties that might arise.
The burning desire to be able to communicate with his family better is the only thing keeping me going through the hundreds of hours of self-study.
I’m bad at learning languages; I always have been (something I talked about quite a bit in this post).
Ryosuke thinks it’s hilarious (and a little disturbing) how much more polite I am in Japanese. ————————– In any case, those are my thoughts on the matter.
And I don’t understand half the jokes he tries to make in English. Because apparently white people can’t speak Japanese. I can’t count the number of times someone has talked about me (in front of me) in Japanese, assuming I didn’t know what was going on.
If I ask my husband “does this dress make me look fat? He doesn’t know that certain English phrases have hidden meanings (or, in this case, socially acceptable answers). regardless of whether that’s what I want to hear or not. When he sent that message, he meant “I don’t want to hang out with any friends tonight, I just want to chat with you about anything – like that movie we saw last week or where we should go for Spring Break.” Whereas I took it as “Don’t plan anything tonight because I have something serious that I need to talk to you about… Or break up.” Ryosuke occasionally says loaded statements or asks loaded questions in English. We’ve learned to take what the other person says at face value. ” And I answer “I’m fine,” then it means I really am fine. He doesn’t have the same upbringing or cultural expectations. I think that you should chat with your significant other if specific needs aren’t being met in your relationship – or if the gap between expectations and reality is causing your problems.I think I just wanted to get this post out on the internet, it hopes that it can help someone else (or at least provide a bit of insight into the fun, interesting, and sometimes awkward aspects of marrying someone with a different native tongue).And I’m going to be honest here, if it wasn’t for Ryosuke, I would have quit learning Japanese a long time ago.When we argue in English, I have an unfair advantage. And without those pretty words, we made sure build our relationship with a strong foundation of humor, adventure, mutual respect, and love. hard (my parents didn’t particularly care, because the American mind-set isn’t set towards lifetime employment).And when we argue in Japanese (much more rare, but it happens), he has an unfair advantage. And thank you dear reader for not making fun of that either. I did all the planning for our wedding in Texas (with plenty of help from my mother, aunt, and grandmother). Instead we live in a world that makes it really difficult to find good “couple friends” because of language problems. Of course, Ryosuke prefers hanging out with native Japanese speakers. I sat by Ryosuke holding his hand while he explained our decision to his parents.Now that we live in Japan, Ryosuke is the one who compares flights, finds hotels, and plans our vacations. No matter how much we study the other person’s language, the fact of the matter is that both of us spent the first 20 years of our life only knowing language. I knew how to say that Ryosuke’s happiness matters more than money, how we had plenty of money saved up, and that I honestly believe he should quit and look for a more fulfilling job.