But, you know, it’s still better than The Bachelor.So here are our teams: Emily and Brett She’s an ex professional cheerleader, he’s a “gamer,” which is apparently all you need to qualify as a geek these days.Oh, that explains why they all had horrendous makeup during the following shooting days. On their way to the island, the Beauties have to get on a rickety canoe outrigger combo with their luggage. Ntula is upping the stakes in the weirdly named reality TV contestant game. During the crab spelling challenge, they stop showing the crabs after a couple of the Beauties lose.Their “luggage” visibly gets wet from almost tipping into the ocean a couple of times. For the final between Emily/Brett and Sheridan/Peter, James says there are bigger crabs as a punishment for losing. And honestly, I wish I could get as excited about anything as much as these guys get excited about everything.However, I’m gonna tip Alex, Michael, and Brett for Geek Most Likely To Win. The job isn’t as cushy as Osher Gunsberg’s on The Bachelor (show up and do absolutely nothing twice an episode. He pronunced “anemone” incorrectly (the admittedly common “ah-nen-nah-mee”) during the crab spelling challenge, and the Beauty unsurprisingly spelled it wrong.
I’m not going to make any predictions, because BATG is stupidly unpredictable.Brett’s got the most disgusting beard I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen my pubes.They both seem pretty nice, though, and don’t obviously hate each other. Emily wins the crab spelling challenge (I know), and she is surprisingly well-spoken when she nominates Kassi/Brandon for elimination.Beauty and the Geek Australia has rapidly descended further and further into an obviously artificial, depressing parade of stereotypes and forced Aesops.The most recent series have taken this to the next gruelling level and made BATG, essentially, a dating show.If you don’t fit the stereotypes to the letter, then you can fuck off, I guess.