In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to males (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for males), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.
Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.
You never know how big the language barrier is, and where exactly the gaps in vocabulary and grammar are, so let your gestures and facial expressions do as much of the work for you as possible.
Paul Eckman discovered that facial expressions for happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, disgust are universal across all cultures all around the world.
Of course you often won’t know the answer, but always be prepared for the “dotakyan” or last minute cancellation, especially on first dates. Grace Says: If you’re a woman, you might have to suggest the first date.
Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).
NB: In our experience Japanese guys are far less likely to flake on dates.
You already know how important it is to keep communication simple, but in addition you want to make it interesting enough that even with no words at all, it’s worth paying attention to.
At the same time, like folks in most other developed countries, Japanese people have been inundated with media from America and are avid travelers.
They are equally interested in Europe, and other parts of Asia like Taiwan, Thailand and Korea.
However, because so few foreigners live in Japan, their best chance of meeting one in their normal lives is if they get lucky enough to have a native English (or other language) speaking teacher in junior high or high school.
Many people will even go to English Conversation schools in the hopes of making foreign friends.
It’s ok to ask to hang out “as friends” knowing that y’all are more than “Just friends.”Approaching – use a lot of facial expressions and gestures, be animated – engagement without just language!